dimanche 27 juillet 2014

An Excerpt from LADYFINGERS: a novel

"The past is a work of art, free of irrelevancies and loose ends.”
—Sir Max Beerbohm

chapter 7

“You’re on in 10, Miss DaLilla!” stagehand had yelled into Larry Plotnik’s Las
Vegas dressing room.

He had dipped his brush into the rouge pot and added the finishing

Magnificent, he thought, as he admired his reflection in the mirror. A perfect

He was performing his absolute favorite impersonations that night. Liza
first, then intermission, then the fabulous Miss Tina, then intermission, then
next, the glamorous Barbara, then intermission, then the finale…leaving the
best for last…Miss Amelia Jackson. Miss Jackson required 5 costume changes
which he always looked forward to.

He had heard that she might be in the audience that night.

Larry Plotnick had come a long way from being a boring old…actually he
wasn’t that old…entertainment contract lawyer, watching every one of his clients
have more fun than he.

It had been the new year of the new millennium and he knew that it was
time for a complete change in his lifestyle…to something more personally satisfying.
He had always been a responsible man…meeting all of his obligations…
in the style to which his wife had wanted to become accustomed.

He, like everyone else, had worked toward the attainment of the updated,
baby boomer version of the ‘American Dream’…a husband and wife, both
with glamorous, high-powered careers, after a few years of youthfully misguided…
he had finally concluded…attempts at politically idealistic exploration,
only to find that they could, most times, barely find two nickels to rub
(google image)

They had decided that what they really wanted was an estate in the Hollywood
Hills and a penthouse co-op on Central Park West, in Manhattan. So he
went back to Law School and became a contract lawyer in order to protect the
rights of high powered, consumer-mad entertainers and his wife worked her
way up to Executive Editor at a major publishing house, helping to mold, not
writers, but aspiring ‘literary celebrities’.

They had enjoyed, he thought, the glamorous transcontinental marriage
they had created. But as his wife approached the tender age of 40, everything
began to turn to mud!

She had known from the beginning his extracurricular inclinations and he
had thought he knew hers. He had thought that this was part of the uniqueness
of their compatibility.

But how wrong he had been.

She up and got pregnant as soon as she made Executive Editor, resigned
from her position and moved to their place in California.

A year later they had a second child, although he knew beyond the shadow
of a doubt that it wasn’t his.

His lifestyle had ended up looking like everything he wanted to avoid all his

She had known that he had enjoyed his sideline profession as a female
impersonator, but after they had the kids, she had started insisting that he quit,
because she felt it was inappropriate for a father to dress up in women’s clothing
in order to perform in Vegas.

So he left.

He left everything, without a word of warning to anyone…his clients, his
wife, the kids…everyone! He left a wad of money and the house and the New
York apartment behind for the hen and her two chicks.

You see, Larry Plotnick is a responsible man.

A person only had one life to live and Larry had decided to become Lolly
DaLilla…permanently…and live the rest of his life as a statuesque blonde who
impersonates the grand divas of his time, for a living.

Okay…he had to admit…that to the average person it was a strange life, but
it was fun.

Besides, he realized that he had never really wanted to be a husband. He had
actually always wanted to be a wife. A socialite wife of a high-powered man. A
trophy wife, par excellence.

He decided to hire Madame Authuretta Bozell and her lifestyle make over
service, Ladyfingers to make his dream come true.

It seemed to happen overnight!

One evening after one of his performances, the shipping magnate, Janus
Daropopolis, came back stage and introduced himself where he presented
Lolly the largest bouquet of flowers in the history of the entertainment world.
The other Vegas performers were as jealous as hell, because they were all…the
male and the females…after Janus. He had quite a reputation and villas all over
the world, including an architectural marvel in the hills of the French Riviera.

“You’re on in 5, Lolly,” another stage hand prompted.

After only a few weeks of lavish dining, dancing until dawn and being showered
with expensive gifts, Lolly agreed to have Janus buy out his contract in
Vegas. Lolly had decided to accept his proposal to live with him in his fabulous
Riviera villa.

Larry…uh, rather…Lolly was going to try out the role of socialite, trophy

He took a last minute glance a Liza in the mirror, smiled and walked toward
the stage.

This had been his last night in Vegas. He hoped that Amelia Jackson would
be in the audience. Her quintessential female glamour had always been his
(google image)

A person had to follow one’s dreams, right?

available in Hardcover, Trade Paperback and Kindle

mardi 14 mai 2013


"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don' t notice it"
--Alice Walker, The Color Purple

Okay it's lavender, not purple...but close enough!

jeudi 4 avril 2013

mardi 22 janvier 2013

Revisiting Our (American) Roots DJANGO :UNCHAINED

Finally got up the nreve to see it at the Cinema Rialto in the rue de Rivoli in Nice:

What did I think of it ?

Ridiculous.  But then so was Jackie Browne, Kill Bill 2 & 1.  So was Pulp Fiction. So was Killing Zoe.  So you see….I’ve been a fan of the ridiculous for quite some time.  In my opinion, Quentin Tarrentino has a unique way of blending the serious with the ridiculous which I enjoy and admire.

Writer and director ,Quentin Tarantino

The movie was way too long…but then, that’s probably his point.  Some things just go on way too long.
Filmmaker Spike Lee, Upset about something as usual; ajnd Jamie Fox

Historical accuracy?  Who cares.  Maybe there was no slavery. No European Holocaust.  No Bubonic Plague wagons. No Crusades.  Just a long history of loving warm populations all over the world inspiring one another toward greatness.  Cumbaya and all that.
Jamie Fox and Leonardo DiCaprio

In other words, I would highly recommend this movie to people …adult people…with strong stomachs AND a twisted sense of humor.
Leonardo with the fabulous Samuel L. Jackson
I would also say that this is his best movie so far.

mercredi 5 décembre 2012

Three Tips For Aspiring Writers

(google image)

1) If you are looking for commercial success, study the books on the bestseller lists.

2) If you are an artist, write what you want and study the craft.

3) Before publication studymartial arts because there will be all kinds of folks out there waiting to beat you up in dark alleys.

vendredi 14 septembre 2012


I promise you fresh stuff on the next posts, ie:


...and after that:


in the meantime, after speaking to my Mother in NYC totady who had worked the polls for the Presidential primary, I have decided to post this reprint of mine:


(photos from google images)

From afar, I watched in disbelief.

A relatively unknown black man had emerged, creating ecstatic, cultish zeal with his promise of “change.” Wondering who this obviously charismatic man was, I ordered his biography, “Dreams from My Father.”

As I read this fiction-like approach to memoir describing the exotic background of a mixed race and bi-cultural colored boy from a broken home, growing up in Asia then ultimately acquiring an Ivy League education… I began to wonder. When did the average American start relating to such exotic qualities and qualifications from a person of colour…or anyone else for that matter?

I realized that I had been living away from my country for over a decade. Was it possible that my country had evolved into sophisticated, tolerant, erudite, “post racial” America? Were we entering a new enlightened era, with the slogan” Yes We Can.”?

When I completed his novel, I began to question what it was exactly that the American people felt we could do? Put the bizarre reign of the Bush Administration behind us? Elect a Democrat after 8 years of Republican dominated philosophies? Elect a Negro? Support his party’s platforms?

What were these platforms? When I asked a number of American friends back home what they were, the answer I got was a unanimous “Universal Health care, Delorys…I think.”

I think?!?

Anyway, I watched in wonder as crowds of Americans around the globe gathered around bridges, chanting “Yes We Can.” The whole scenario reminded me of scenes from Woodstock or the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Then questions concerning Obama’s citizenship surfaced, causing me to wonder how Americans could be so progressive in thinking on one hand, yet know so little about geography and American history on the other.

As a Democrat, myself, living in Europe who had suffered various repercussions of the Bush Era, I voted, as the majority of Americans did, for Barack Obama. I watched America celebrate the election of the first African American president of the United States. I watched huge crowds cheer the end of Republican party domination and destructive policies in our foreign relations.

The celebration of new beginnings.

Ignoring the heap of devastation left behind from the previous administration which our new President inherited, within months cries and accusations of fraud and elitism filled the airwaves. Citizens who supported his “campaign promises” before he was elected, screamed that our President was out of touch with the people and hadn’t delivered the fairy dust and the happily ever after that was necessary in record time!

How fickle can you get?

Citizens began questioning his religious affiliations in a country of religious freedom.

But actually what bothers me the most is the accusation of “out-of-touch elitism.” Our last 4 presidents attended Yale and Harvard. Hardly grass roots institutions.

Perhaps if American Citizens wanted a president “of the people”, they should have voted for someone more familiar like Willie Nelson.