mercredi 11 mai 2011

BLIND CRITICISM






J’en ai marre !!!!!

The tourist season has officially begun here on the French Riviera. What always arrives with the hordes is the inevitable and harsh criticism of French driving habits.


I’d like to intercept a bit with this blog before the Anglophones really start getting flagrant down here!

Everyone knows that anyone’s life can be irrevocably destroyed by an intoxicated or mentally disturbed driver on the road in any country by a driver of any nationality. My question is why have the French, in particular, been given such a bad rap as drivers?

I have been recipient many times of French driving hospitality. What I have found is that my French friends and acquaintances have displayed skill and grace at ever turn…so to speak. It’s no wonder, I later learned, considering what they have to go though in order to earn the privilege to drive in their country.

How may of you who have criticized the French actually studied for the French Permis de Conduire?


Too scared, right?


And I’m willing to bet…too broke!



Then, that means you don’t know bupkis about anything French.

Want to know how I came to this conclusion? Because it is expensive, difficult and studying for it would actually result in an evolution of thinking that would cause you to realise that you had no prior knowledge of what it takes to understand of the Gallic approach to manoeuvring safely through life in France. My philosophy is in order to criticize the French you should have been educated in France and taught by the French. How else can one understand the cultural nuances of a country which has the power to seduce millions of people through its doors, whether they be rich or poor, yellow green or blue, to a place which is probably the most complicated in all of Europe? Even people from rich and powerful countries are willing to test their fate in a country which for years will render them functional illiterates!


Years ago I took the driving school plunge…so I know of what I write.


I can’t overstate the fact that the pursuit of the French Permis de Conduire is an expensive, lengthy but profoundly informative study of the psychology of the French population. Believe me, studying this will enhance one’s relationships with the French people you encounter, do business with or with whom one becomes intimately involved. It will even enable one to distinguish a foreign driver from a French one.


Imagine that!


Case in point:

One sunny afternoon, a fellow student, who is also an American, and I left another gruelling session of La Code de la Route to stop at a corner café. As we approached the curb, a car came screeching towards us in a completely misguided attempt to park in a no parking zone.

Mr. America, hisses, ., “Look at that. After they get their permits, all rules fly out the window. How typically French!


My response was, “What makes you think the driver is French?”


He pointed to the French License plate on the Italian Fiat, and said, “Look… 06 (the code for the Alpes Maritimes)!”

As if on cue, two men emerge from the car, sharing a typically boisterous conversation in Italian!

Typically French, right?

So, this is the advice from yours truly…the Expat Curmudgeon Writer on the Côte d’Azur…to American drivers in France. Stop criticizing…stay alert and either take your bigotry and pack it in your little back packs and go back home… or just get off the road and take the friggin’n bus!
























jeudi 28 avril 2011

Writing Tips

mixed media 12" x 36" by Delorys Welch-Tyson

"If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing."
~ Kingsley Amis

Domestic Quarrels


July 21, 1926- April 13, 2001
Josephine Premice 





"Never let a man tell you 'You look so beautiful stiring the soup' "
~Josephine Premice

mardi 5 avril 2011

Bad Manners

google images

(Subtitle) Bad Manners and Repugnant Behavior According to Whoopie Goldberg


So, yesterday I finished reading Whoopie Goldberg’s book, Is It Just Me? Or Is It Nuts Out There?

This, to me, was a hilarious book which basically implied that the United States has become a nation of arrogant and smug Philistines!

I would like to share with you a joke from her chapter: "Buddy is the new Nigger:"


A little black cherub is up in heaven and is kind of cruising around, and God comes walking by, and the cherub flies over and says, " Hi, God !"

God says, “Hey how are you doing?”

The cherub says, “Fine, God. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” says God.


“Am I an angel?”

God says, “No, nigger, you a bat!”



Do you find this funny?


Is it me…or is this simply a sly reference to the American majority population’s opinion of President Obama?

vendredi 25 mars 2011

Wall Street English: Does The Sun Still Not Set On The British Empire?

(photos from google images )

Taiwan
For years I noticed…all over Nice… on bill boards, buses and bus stop shelters, humungous ads for The Wall Street English Institutes.

Having no need to study something like this nor the desire to teach English, I continued to remain mildly curious without checking out what it was all about. Besides, here in Nice, the School was originally located at the Nice Etoile. The Etoile is not someplace I frequent often since I had already "o.d."-ed on Malls in the States and had no intention of taking up the habit here in France with all the fabulous specialty shops and boutiques in town that fullfil every need of a Francophile with international predilections like myself.


old location at Nice Etoile


But…I digress…


Well yesterday, I discovered that The Wall Street English School had relocated to a building on the rue de France. It also has a residence in what I call the English Countryside on avenue Guynemer, in Saint Laurent du Var. Since we were in the neighbourhood, I decided to stop in on the one in downtown Nice.

When I walked in, the exotic-looking young lady at the desk looked as if her Mom had entered ready to reprimand her for some disreputable act.

I introduced myself and then asked her to define "Wall Street English." Did it mean that they taught American English instead of British English?  After all, last I remember Wall Street was located in lower Manhattan. In New York City. In the United States.

The young lady responded by saying, “Both, Madame”. And then she handed me this brochure:




Question: As an American, should I be insulted by this?

In addition, it is stated in the brochure that The Wall Street English Institute is recognized and approved by THE UNIVERSITY OF CAMBRIDGE!!! 

Oh golly...gee wiz...imagine that!



mardi 22 mars 2011

Expat Quote ...of the Day

"Mona Laughter" by Charlie Hall
"He who laughs last …is surrounded by dead people!"


-- Dat Phan



vendredi 11 mars 2011

Apropos of Food...



This is for all of the Americans abroad.  Let's never forget where we came from.  Don't you guys miss any of this?

(food photos from google images)
pancakes and sausages



Chicken and Waffles



Manhattan Clam Chowder
New England Clam Chowder
Crab Cakes


Corn on the Cob


macaroni salad


potato salad


macaronia and cheese







Barbeque Spare Ribs


collard greens

shrimp Creole
okra


cornbread

Barbeque Chicken
Ham and Scalloped Potatoes
Well...do you?
Just remember...you are not an orphan.  You come from someplace.